That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
