He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
