DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
