Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
