Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Are my feet made of real feet?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
