her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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