dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
