Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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