she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
