the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
