After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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