My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
