you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
