And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
