I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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