wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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