a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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