Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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