at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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