Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
