I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
