some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
