Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
