When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
