Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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