Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
