ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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