we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
