Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
