I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
