please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
