Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
