before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
