Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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