then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We had to coat check the pizza.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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