It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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