Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
