My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
