I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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