How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
