Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
