i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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