you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
