The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
