Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
