I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
