No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
