don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
