How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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