I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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